Get in the car
By arlinton - Posted on June 28th, 2008
Tagged:
So once upon a time a man came out of his apartment building holding a ziplock bag full of crushed bagels.
Then he tells me:
"Get in the car"
i'm like:
"Why, where are we going?"
he's like:
"Just get in the car"
Who knew? Maybe he'd surprise me with a new trick the man took time to learn (google being the teacher of many silly ways). So I get in the car. He starts it. We go. He makes a right. Goes straight for a block and tells me something along the lines of:
"I figured it out"
I'm like:
"What?"
He's like
"Watch"
He then makes another right, goes straight, stops at the stop sign and tells me how perfect the stop was, then continues to the other stop sign and stops 'perfect' then makes another right. At this point any suspicions I had about what was going down were totally 100% true. He then continues down for one block and makes another right. That's right folks he circled (rather an imperfect circle, more of a rectangle but you get the idea) around back to his own block heading straight to complete it.
Upon hitting the intersection of his block he rolls down his window sticks his hand into his ziplock bag and threw the bagel bits into the wind as if he were frolicking in a field with seeds to share with the world. I knew his mission. I wanted to get out, but it was too late. He completed his circle and let out a sinister laugh, like a villain, but he wasn't done. Another circle must be made.
With a smile on his face the same four rights were made. Then he says:
"Look, they've gathered"
In view there were flying pest, poop droppers - pigeons feasting on the crushed bagel bits. This man in his manual subaru wrx began to accelerate slowly in which I replied:
"Noo!"
In which he replied:
"HAHAHAHAHA"
He crept up, slowly - as a hunter. His prey pecking at bagels and no doubt fighting amongst each other or the bits of once delicious bread. He revs up and accelerates quickly... They begin to fly away, alas two are not quick enough you hear a clunk, see white powder... One has disappeared while the other. probably much more clever, tried to fly inside of the vehicle in panic of seeing his companion & foe turn into white powder.
Drunken with laughter he drives to the stop sign and begins to drive around again...
(To be continued)
Ok, you've got to explain the whole story if you are going to post a message about premeditative pigeon "chasing".
There is a lady on the block who feeds the pigeons. They are SOO disgusting and they poop on people as they walk under her tree on the sidewalk. Normally when I pass by her house to walk to the train station I go around the tree and walk in the street. But one time I was running late for work and in a rush forgot to avoid the tree. I walked right under her tree and got pooped on not once, not twice but THREE times.
I was so mad that I began plotting how i would get rid of all the pigeons from the block... and well... there you have it... Arlinton documented my successful plan of moving the birds from the tree to the middle of the street and directly in front of my speeding car...!
But I must add that no pigeons were harmed... at least on that day...
Well, this explains the pigeon that was stuck in front of your car. I taught that you picked up a dead pigeon and placed it on your car and then take a photo.
Mr. Randy, this is unacceptable. Do you think those pigeons like to have us around? Suppose they come up with a massive plan and start pooping on all of us.
-- Mr Roup